Emotional Problem Solving, Thoughts for Parents

Lavinia Dowling, The M Word CiC

Emotional Problem Solving Ltd was originally launched in 2006, and closed in 2010 so that Founder and Director, Lavinia Dowling, could return to university. Two years later, she completed her Masters in Professional Practice (Emotional Problem Solving), which she named after her company and model of care. Over the next few years, Lavinia acquired further knowledge and skills in project managing for different companies with a view to relaunching EPS, which she did in 2021 having launched sister company, The M Word cic, in 2020.

EPS Ltd is very much the training side of things not only helping professionals but also parents acquire more knowledge and understanding around mental health and neuro-diversity. This is because Lavinia felt very passionately that many parents were being sent on parenting courses, which were wholly inappropriate for the parents of neuro-diverse children, especially those with Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), or Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD). Parents often felt more isolated, ashamed, and upset at their lack of parenting skills having been made to feel a failure, when in fact the training was not appropriate. Lavinia felt that parents needed to be upskilled in a very different way conveying that with the right information, these parents could build on their skills becoming specialist skills in how to best support their children. Lavinia refers to it as the ‘Expert Parent program’ which is a bespoke package specifically supporting parents with children who have SEN. The feedback from parents was overwhelmingly positive in that they were being ‘believed’, ‘validated’, and how their ‘lives have changed’. See below for a selection of feedback from parents who have completed the specialist program.

• It is so helpful, and life changing. Those times when you lose your confidence, or doubt creeps in, and you are there saying ‘remember, you are the only people this child has, you are the only one standing by them the way they need it to be done’, and it helps you not to fall into the boundary trap or punishment trap – things that you get fed on the outside.
• You are the only professional I know that understands PDA. It is unique, and it is the only place I am getting the support. It is really, really, helpful and life changing.
• the key benefit that I got out of my sessions was the validation that enabled me to believe in myself and have the confidence to plough on. I was so beaten down by it all and it made such a difference to have someone listen that just ‘got it’. There were things that I didn’t need to explain or justify
• Firstly, validation. To know that we were doing the right thing in keeping our son at home rather than continuing to force him into school, when all around us were contradicting our gut feeling.
• As it happened EPP was even more flexible than we expected as our son could join sessions and communicate via typing. Also we hadn’t realised when we first approached it was going to be the bespoke 1-1 sessions that we did have with Lavinia. These have been life saving.
• As well as educating us more generally about ASD, and PDA which we knew very little about, we learnt how to best help our son based on our family life, our reality and even on how the previous week had been. We knew that even with setbacks came huge learning opportunities. We feel empowered. We never feel judged. There is humour and empathy in our sessions. In addition the M word Facebook community backs up this learning. Unearthing and the weekly update reinforces the messages we are taking away in our 1-1 EPP sessions. It feels (to me) a fully immersive experience.
• Invaluable support, with realistic targets (homework / things to think about before the next session), opinions and new things to try to help the situation, but also helping me unpick situations and understanding why he / we felt like that? and most importantly no judgment. I really felt at ease when talking to Lavinia. Not being in a classroom (like I was with the early bird plus course) with people that weren’t interested, or weren’t interested in sharing experiences. Each session was tailored to mine / my child’s or the family needs. 
• EPP supports you to believe that you are the expert when it comes to your child and with that very inside knowledge you learn techniques that help you apply them to different situations. It has been life changing for my daughter and our family.
• When I have been on other parenting courses, a lot of it was making us feel guilty for getting it all wrong. There was never anything specific to autism or SEN, it was all general and of course that makes you feel worse because the reality is parenting has to happen differently in a house full of autistic children! I don’t remember feeling very empowered at any other parenting course or programme. I felt like I could take on the world after being with Lavinia for six weeks!

Emotional Problem Solving Ltd provides Continuing Professional Development (CPD) accredited courses for parents, clinicians, and practitioners. All our courses are designed to provide lots of background historical information around mental health and the different types of neurodiverse labels. This then allows us to consider presentation traits, as to why this might be, as well as considering ways of working with each. The courses are designed to be highly informative as there is a wealth of information that is required in understanding very complex presentations. Each course currently accredited has been awarded 3hrs CPD points. It is much easier if you start with first course around The Emotional Blueprint, to then build on the knowledge of either or both Autism and ADHD before you go to the last module of Pathological Demand Avoidance as you are then building your layers of knowledge.

• Mental Health and The Emotional Blueprint
• Mental Health and ADHD
• Mental Health and Autism
• Mental Health and Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)

Online course – Online Courses (emotionalproblemsolving.ltd) or T – 07928232037

The courses have been designed for those who have some understanding around mental health and neuro-diversity, but not essential to have lots of understanding. If you are looking for a bespoke training face to face for your team, company, hospital or school, we can present this according to your budget. Likewise, if you are looking for a public speaker to talk about mental health and neuro-diverse traits, Lavinia is happy to accommodate talking about two of her favourite topics at a cost where all the proceeds are given to The M Word cic to support families who need support in the way of assessments, screenings, and therapy.